Seeing Autism Clearly
What autism really is. Not what people think it is.
Dear Reader
I know you mean well.
And if you're already trying to understand, thank you. That effort matters more than you may realize.
But some things people say can hurt. Like "aren't we all a little autistic?" or "you could do it if you tried harder."
These words can land as dismissive, even when that’s not the intent. They can make autistic people feel unseen.
Autism is not just quirks or preferences. It's a real difference in how our brains work.
Autistic people experience life in ways that others often don't see or understand.
This can make daily life very hard. And very lonely.
This page will help you see autism more clearly.
I hope it helps you understand us better. And approach us with more empathy.
What does autism really look like?
Autism is a spectrum. This means every autistic person is different. We share some traits. But each person's experience is unique.
Social challenges and safety risks
Many autistic people struggle with social rules their whole lives. These rules feel hidden or confusing to us. This makes us vulnerable to bullying, exclusion, and harm. Many of us don't see social cues or understand when someone is being mean or dangerous. We can miss warning signs. This has left many of us with trauma that stays with us.
Sensory sensitivities
Bright lights hurt. Loud sounds hurt. Certain textures hurt. This isn't being dramatic. For autistic people, sensory input can be overwhelming or even painful. These sensitivities are real. They affect our ability to function every day.
Physical conditions
Many autistic people also have other health issues. Like stomach problems, chronic pain, fatigue, migraines, or trouble sleeping. These physical issues affect our daily lives a lot.
Processing differences
Our brains are wired differently. Changes in routines can be very distressing. Sensory overload is overwhelming. This difference affects how we move through the world every day.
High support needs vs. Low support needs
Autistic people need different levels of support.
Some need help every day with tasks like communication, personal care, or keeping routines. These are called high-support needs.
Others can live alone but still need help in some areas. Like at work, managing sensory overload, or in social situations. These are called low-support needs.
But support needs can change. Someone who is fine one day might struggle the next. Stress, environment, and other factors matter.
"Low-support needs" doesn't mean someone is fine without help.
"High-support needs" doesn't mean someone isn't smart or capable.
These are harmful misconceptions.
Non-speaking autistic people
Not all autistic people use spoken words.
But that doesn't mean they don't understand. Or that they have nothing to say.
Non-speaking autistic people may communicate in other ways:
- •Using communication devices
- •Sign language or hand gestures
- •Writing or typing
- •Using pictures
Speech is not a measure of intelligence.
Non-speaking autistic people have deep thoughts and feelings just like everyone else.
Assuming someone has nothing to say because they don't speak is wrong. And it's ableist.
(Ableism: treating disabled people as less than. Believing typical abilities are better.)
Traits you might misunderstand
Stimming
Stimming means self-soothing behaviors. Like rocking, hand-flapping, or repeating sounds. It helps autistic people manage emotions and sensory input. It may look unusual. But it's a critical tool for us. Stimming isn't weird. It's essential.
Echolalia
Repeating words or phrases. This helps us process language. Or express emotion. Or just enjoy the sound of certain words.
Black-and-white thinking
Many autistic people see things as right or wrong. Good or bad. There's not much in-between. This brings clarity. But it can make social situations and decisions harder.
Literal thinking
Many autistic people take language literally. Sarcasm is hard. Jokes are confusing. Common expressions don't always make sense. Miscommunications aren't intentional. This is how our brain processes words.
Executive functioning challenges
Many autistic people struggle with planning and organization. Starting tasks is hard. Finishing tasks is hard. Switching between activities is overwhelming. This isn't laziness. It's a neurological difference.
Info dumping
Sharing a lot of information about a favorite topic. This might feel overwhelming to others. But for autistic people, it's how we connect. It's how we show excitement.
Masking
Many autistic people hide their traits to fit in. This is called masking. It's exhausting. And it can be damaging over time. Instead of encouraging masking, support us as we are.
Elopement
Autistic elopement means wandering off. It's often a response to overwhelm, curiosity, or a need to escape. While it can be unsafe, it's important to understand that elopement is about unmet needs, not bad behavior.
Inside the autistic mind
Mental rumination
Autistic brains can get stuck on thoughts. We replay situations or conversations over and over. Analyzing them deeply for hours.
Auditory processing differences
Some autistic people take longer to understand spoken words. Others get overwhelmed when there's too much sound at once. This makes it hard to process anything.
Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD)
Many autistic people feel extreme emotional distress from criticism or rejection. Even small misunderstandings can feel devastating.
Why understanding matters
Autistic people deserve to be seen. To be respected. To be understood.
Our struggles are rooted in how our brains and bodies work.
For Black autistic people, racism and ableism combine. This makes life even harder.
(Ableism: treating disabled people as less than. Believing typical abilities are better.)
When experiences are dismissed, it undermines our sense of being valued.
It's important to understand how race and autism overlap. And how that shapes our experience.
How you can help
If you're already listening, learning, and showing care… thank you. This section is here to support that effort.
Now you know these experiences are real. And diverse.
This is an invitation to leave behind dismissive phrases and assumptions.
Instead, you can:
- •Take time to listen and learn.
- •Validate autistic experiences without judgment.
- •Recognize that we don't need to 'try harder' to fit in.
When you know better
Maya Angelou once said, "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."
Now you know better.
Let's do better... together.